Ten Naughty Habits You Probably Believed Were Perfectly Normal

Some habits that look bad at first glance can actually be good like getting pissed off once a while, taking a bit more coffee, being a slob, drinking beer moderately, surfing the internet, and chewing gum.

But certain habits, no matter from which angle you look at them, are outrightly annoying, downright disgusting or ultimately unhealthy.

Sadly, though, some cannot do without smoking, consuming booze, having unprotected sex and practising any of these other ten naughty habits that probably seem normal to you.


10. Eating Your Fingernails

Some people have perfected the act of trimming their fingernails using their teeth.

Even worse, some don’t spit out the nails afterwards preferring to use the nails as toothpicks. If you are one of those then you are your own worst enemy. You may hide the annoying habit from us but you can’t hide from the hundreds of germs hidden underneath those nails which you give free access into your system, via your mouth. 

Every minute of the day, the items you hold, the surfaces you touch, the people you shake hands with and many other such instances ensure your hands are never totally clean no matter how hard you try.

Unless you are a nut case who washes his or her hands a hundred times a day.


9. Opening mouth wide open to yawn

Cover your mouth when you yawn. We are not suggesting that you are releasing harmful organisms into the atmosphere.

Far from it. Though, it is a possibility.

We’re more concerned about the hundreds of unseen evils that may from there enter into your body. When you are not talking, shut up your trap. Why leave the hole open when it’s a direct route to your tommy. You don’t want toilet flies buzzing around in your system, do you?

And by the way, spare us the agony of watching your decaying teeth and your retreating gums.


8. Standing with smokers

If you smoke, well, that’s your choice. No one has got any qualms with that, especially me.

But if you don’t smoke, why stand with people who do?

The truth is even though you claim to be clean with the sticks, you actually inhale significantly more than chain-smokers. On average, people who hang around smokers most of the time suffer the same ailments as those stuck with the cigarettes.

Depending on the situations and circumstances you find yourself in, courtesy may demand that you show respect and sit with smokers. Say the smoker is your boss, your fiancée or your parents.

Well, don’t get excited by my choice of words but fuck courtesy, get up and get the fuck out of the room!


7. Picking your nose with your fingers

Really, do you have to do that? It doesn’t matter if it’s the fingers of your left or right hand. That habit is dirty and it’s gross.

They may not say it just because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, but it irritates those around you. Don’t you think it’s better to blow your nose into your handkerchief?

If you must stick your little fingers into your nostrils, locate a lonely place and go satisfy your urge. Eat the condiments in there too, if you want. Just spare us the torture of watching you do it.

Wash your hands when you’re done, will you. Pity some of us who will still shake your hands goodbye.


6. Sticking fingers in your privates in public

Sometimes, I just sit and wonder why some people actually do this. I mean, there has to be a reason why they call it ‘private parts’, right?

Could it be itching them? They are probably checking if it’s too hairy. May be they are confirming its size, titanic or tiny? Are they showing off? Or just wondering if it’s shrinking or stolen? Is putting your hands inside your underwear an involuntary action?

The true answers beat me.

Well, listen to me. Whatever your real reasons are for acting this indecently in public, can you kindly suspend it until when you are all alone in your bedroom?

Thanks a lot, pal. We’d really appreciate it.


5. Coughing into the air

We’ve got enough germs of our own to deal with. We are really trying to be nice, polite and friendly here. But you also have to help us to maintain that.

In what way?

Start by covering your mouth when you cough and your nose when you sneeze. You release countless germs from your throat when you cough or sneeze and many of these unseen organisms hang around in the air till someone close by inhales them. They can be infectious and harmful.

If there’s anyone near you who coughs into the air without concern about whose ox is gored, give them a little nudge and correct them quietly. A dirty slap to their faces at times is not out of place too.


4. Eating your hair

Strange as this seem, some people actually do it.

Especially girls with long hairs. Usually out of boredom.

Girls and a few boys whose hairs reach down to their mouths may develop the bad habit of sticking the hairs in the mouth, rollicking it around with their tongues and giving not a single care in the world.

Well, let me burst your bubble. That habit is not only irritating when you do it in public, it can also be very fatal.

How?

The strands of hair on the human body are indigestible. Our digestive system cannot process them. As you swallow the hair it gathers in your tummy, strand after strand, till it becomes a giant ball of hair that can clog your intestines.

Death is only by the corner after that.


3.  Swearing profusely

People swear when they are angry or irritated. They use vulgar words and can’t keep it under their breath.

You may have noticed that I’m equally guilty as charged. Some people can be so annoying with their cockiness and stupid ways, you just want to reach out and punch them dead with your words.

Still, it doesn't justify swearing in public. Especially in the presence of kids who should not be encouraged to do same. It only shows a person who can’t keep emotions under control. So, let’s all be civil in words and in deeds, shall we?

Cool!

2. Rolling on the floor laughing

I guess it’s cool when you when you just write it as ‘rotfl’ on Facebook and 'lol' on twitter. But it’s certainly odd and unacceptable when you actually burst out into hysterical laughter like a hyena, spit flying in all angle, arms thrown in all direction, legs doing the amoeba movement.

There’s no other way of saying this: you are freaking us out!

No one gives a shit (oops!) about what you do when you are locked behind the doors of your room. But you really have to get your acts together when you are in public. Avoid the hyena laughs.

If your smile is not as perfect as Omotola Jolade’s, I’m sure you can still come up with a nice one that will suit your personality just fine.


1. Farting out loud

The loud farts oftentimes don’t pollute the air. It’s the low, quiet ones that stink like dead Lazarus.

Sadly, its silent nature means the culprit is hard to locate in a crowd. And trust me, most motherfuckers won’t own up to fucking their mothers.

While I don’t advise swearing at whoever is responsible for disturbing public peace, I’ve been known to saying ‘Amen’ to some of the curses meant for them.

Farts don’t have dump sites, they say.

But it’s not appropriate releasing your bio-bomb in a gathering. Excuse yourself, if you want to have a go. Even the worsts bombshells give you a few seconds window to find room away from your group.

That is except if you are in a farting competition, of course.